Being "fair" or "consistent" isn't the key. For three years, I tried being "fair" and "consistent", trying to give students chances to redeem themselves - but it doesn't work. It's kind of ironic, but if you you focus on being kind, concerned, and fair, your room turns into chaos from all the conficting desires and the majority of kids are dissatisifed. If you act selfishly and focus on your desires, the room is the way you'd like it to be and the majority of kids are well-behaved, considerate, and enjoying learning something. Strange but true.
It's a myth that only certain types of people are born with the ability to "command", get the students respect, and have great classroom disicipline. I'm a short, deferential female (the type who never has the nerve to call people who butt ahead in lines) and after repeated failures, this method finally worked for me.